I recently created my very own Barbie; this is what AI put to good use looks like! I can’t even put into words how much I love this and how much fun I had creating it.

I used to float, now I just fall down
I used to know, but I’m not sure now
What I was made for
What was I made for?

These lyrics never fail to make me feel something. (Thank you, Billie Eilish!) One of the most consistent ways the enemy has attacked me throughout my life has been through my identity—hijacking it, covering it up, confusing it with something it’s not. I think a lot of women can relate to this.

Takin’ a drive, I was an ideal
Looked so alive, turns out I’m not real
Just something you paid for
What was I made for?

This part of the song always reminds me of a time in my life when my identity was the blurriest. I had quit expressing myself on paper and canvases and instead painted my face in countless layers of makeup. It was during this time I had absolutely no idea what I was made for. There came a time I realized everything I did to make myself feel beautiful on the outside didn’t matter anymore; it didn’t matter because none of it brought me true love, true peace, true joy, and it certainly didn’t bring any lasting sense of identity.

I can recall the most gut-wrenching heartbreak of my life, and with maturity I’ve grown to understand that it wasn’t losing him that made it so painful; it was coming to the realization that I had no idea who I was without him and his validation. I think this is exactly the message Billie is trying to convey through those haunting lyrics.

Though Barbie’s “What was I Made For?” always strikes a bit of a nerve in me, thankfully, I can recall those painful memories and feel absolutely grateful for how far I’ve come, or rather, just how far God brought me. God saw me in my brokenness, in my namelessness and gave to me a name—Beloved. He called me Beloved when I called myself rejected, abandoned, alone, when I felt the most un-beloved. He gave me a name when I was a mere silhouette, a faceless shadow of who I was called to be. He said, “This. This is what you were made for.” Then He picked me up off the ground and slowly began to reveal to me my place in His Kingdom. When we allow God to lead us, to cleanse us of the things that were never intended for us, only then can we begin to heal. Though it’s often very painful in the beginning, it’s in that healing God reveals to us our gifts, our assignments, our purpose.

“Beloved” comes in a beautiful ornate black Victorian 8×10” frame matted to 6×8” and is available for purchase in my Etsy Shoppe and EBay Store.

kamillestreasures.etsy.com

eBay.com/usr/kamillegrace16

As I looked at my little doll, I was filled with gratitude to have an identity rooted in Christ, because it’s in Him we can know true love, true identity, and see we are beautifully designed in His beautiful image. I wasn’t designed to gain worldly validation but to care for others, to serve, to inspire, to encourage, to create, to love and be loved, to notice beauty where it’s often overlooked, and to point people towards the God that pulled me out of the deepest depths of despair and uncertainty—this is what I was made for.

.

With painted lips

and perfect curls,

a bright blue dress,

and a string of pearls—

.

A girl so lovely,

but also quite sad.

A quiet ache

was this question she had.

.

What was I made for?

Surely more than this.

An empty “I love you”

and a goodnight a kiss.

.

She heard a whisper,

soft and clear.

The voice of the Lord

echoed in her ear.

.

You’re not a toy

or a fleeting trend.

You were created for the Kingdom

that has no end.

.

This beautiful voice,

this beautiful sign.

You were made with purpose, He said,

Beloved, you are mine.

.

She traded her pearls

for something true.

He tore down the walls

she once looked through.

.

No longer lost

in who to be.

She now walks in truth

faithfully.

.