And the two will become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)

For many years, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be married. A part of me did, a big part, but there was also a part of me that feared I would lose myself, my identity.

I’ve come to realize, the reason I had these reservations wasn’t because they were true; it was because I wasn’t ready to become one with anyone. I felt this way because my identity was still forming, a seed that had not yet taken root.

What happens when we become one with someone before our identity, their identity is firmly rooted in Christ? We lose ourselves, often becoming dependent on that person for our peace, joy, happiness.

I imagined what sharing myself might look like. I imagined the weight of intertwining with someone eventually stunting my growth and making me vulnerable to the world that surrounded me. I imagined feeling depleted as I began to put my energy into a relationship and making another person happy. I didn’t know it could be any different, but I hoped one day it would.

The flower blooms in the light, but the seed takes root in the darkness. There’s a reason Daniel was on the other side of a season of darkness; the seed had to take root. God was growing me in the darkness, in the solitude.

When my identity in Christ had reached maturity, a beautiful bloom began to open, and someone very special saw it and moved towards me. There I found myself in the presence of someone also in bloom.

Besides an identity not yet fully rooted in Christ, I had another good reason for remaining single—I had not yet been found by someone in full bloom. I had encountered several buds, partial blooms, and even a few weeds. It wasn’t until Daniel, however, I came face to face with a man of the same kind—same values, same priorities, same mission, same path, who was also in the same place (or further, rather) as I was. I didn’t encounter a man like Daniel until God saw I was ready.

As we began to intertwine, what we found was neither of us became uprooted by the rain nor the wind. Why? Because we were firmly rooted. In fact, we found that we became even stronger, two firmly rooted plants holding one another up.

There’s something distinct about Daniel that separates him from other men I had met. He leads, not just physically and financially but spiritually, the way God leads Jesus and Jesus leads His children.

He leads not just by words but by example. He leads with humility, compassion, and sacrifice, not by mere rules.

I noticed something about this man I had begun to share my life with. Daniel seemed better than me in every way—kinder, more patient, more loving, more giving, less irritable. His habits were more finely tuned, he sacrificed more, served people more, chased God further, woke up earlier, ate cleaner, worked out harder, lived better. I admired my husband long before I said yes, and I allowed that admiration to inspire me. I didn’t chase his love; I was led and transformed by it. The truth is, Daniel wasn’t better than me, the God in him was.

When Daniel and I met, it was the first time in my life both heart and mind were in agreement over a man. My mind knew Daniel was my husband because he led me, but my heart said yes to joy. Joy is what drew me in; joy is what kept me coming back; joy is why I said yes. Daniel has joy, and marrying him meant I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my life in an endless battle trying to make another person happy. Marrying him meant I would spend my days laughing without fear of the future. Daniel has the joy of the Lord, and I simply wanted more of it.

Something wonderful happens when you become one in the right time, in His time. How do you know it’s time, you ask? You’ll know it’s time when you stop searching for the person and start searching for the God in the person.

“When Two Become One” is inspired by the beauty of a Christ centered marriage and the newly formed vision I have for marriage. The painting doesn’t depict a single flower but two individual flowers that have chosen to intertwine. The two flowers don’t morph into one flower, but rather two flowers bond together without losing their unique identities. We have two flowers, distinct yet inseparably flowing in the same direction, stronger together. The stems represent our connection to God—prayer, worship, fellowship, and the Word. The ground represents our foundation in Christ, our source of nutrients. The blossoms represent the beauty and the fruit of an identity rooted in Christ.

Daniel and I collected three rocks from the chapel yard. He picked a small rock; I picked a small rock, and together we chose a larger rock to paint together.

As an artist, I was very intentional with our color palette, and together the colors tell a story, or rather, paint a picture. The engineer in Daniel made it possible to bring not only our vision but this wedding as a whole to completion, paying close attention to the details and quickly solving any problem we would face. Both engineers and artists alike can create some of the greatest artworks, and so far, this has been our greatest of all—every choice, customization, and color picked with purpose and intentionality.

We chose forest green for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and even the groom. Green is a supportive color; the flower is held up by the green stem, the leaves, existing not to be admired but to serve. 

We chose blush pink and burgundy for our bridal palette—blush, representing femininity and burgundy representing love. The bride is being supported by those surrounding her just as the stem and leaves support the flower; she carries together love and the beauty of being a woman in her own two hands. If you notice, even my dress has a blush undertone, something I didn’t choose or even want at first, but later realized God’s hand in that little detail. 

Burgundy, blush, and greenery was present in all of our decor. However, of all the boutonnières, corsages, and bouquets, only Daniel’s boutonnière and my bouquet had burgundy. We wanted burgundy to be unique to us—our love, symbolizing Christ’s love for His bride. 

I had to include a personalized artwork with my bridesmaids’ gifts to commemorate this special day. Deana and Tiftin are more than sisters in law, they are amazing sisters in Christ and true friends. These women have been there for me more in the last several months than I even have words to express gratitude for. “Krasiva Priyatelka” was made for my beautiful friend, Neli. It reads “Beautiful Friend” in Bulgarian, her native language.

And what’s a girl who loves flowers without a flower girl? “You Sprinkle This World With Beauty” was created for Daniel’s niece, Esther—this special girl who was humble enough to share her birthday the day before our wedding, so we could both be celebrated. I felt it only fitting to return an art piece for all the artwork she has made for me. Esther is pure love and joy, and I relate to her so much. I pray she never stops sprinkling this world with beauty nor loses  that childlike wonder. 

Daniel’s wedding vows

“Kamille, my queen, daughter of our Heavenly Father, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our first weekend together I recall so distinctly a desire to bring myself low under your needs in order to lift you up in Christ so that you might continue to rise for His purposes and glory. The desire was strong and specific and now I know that was God in me affirming His purposes for us. I aim to grow to love you like Christ loves the church. I am going to strive to remind myself daily of the goodness of God and how you are the greatest visible reminder of this to me. I aim to pour my life out for your growth in Christ so together we will serve in love.

Kamille, remember you are His daughter first. You are so dearly beloved by Him and I vow to remind you of this often. My love seems nothing next to His love and yet I still love you in His love because that’s what He has called me to do. To love you like His son Jesus loves us His bride. No matter what we face in the days and years ahead, we face it together in the all sufficient grace of God.

By God’s grace, I will remind myself to place your needs above my own. When we are mad at each other, when the fire of love flickers, when either of us does not feel the love for a season, I will walk in love with you still. I vow that despite my feelings at times I choose you. Everyday I choose you because I believe God chose you first for Himself and then brought you to me to walk beside you and to lead you in His love. I get to help usher your precious life into His loving embrace and I am forever thankful for this grace and blessing.”

“I want to walk everyday with you. I want to grow with you in the likeness of Christ. I want us both to search out the depths of His love together as we serve one another and those around us for His glory. By the grace of God, I choose you Kamille and I always will.”

My wedding vows

“Leaving my home wasn’t an easy choice. I loved the life I lived and the people in it. I turned to God repeatedly in this decision, and He gave to me Ruth 1 verses 16 through 17. It was in relating to these words, I realized I wasn’t leaving my home but moving towards it.

For wherever you go, I will go.

Wherever you live, I will live.

Your people shall be my people

and your God, my God.

Where you die, I will die.

The Lord do so to me, and more also if anything but death parts you and me.”

“Forever Starts Now”

I promise to love you,

to have and to hold;

side by side

until we grow old.

I promise to cherish you 

for all that you are,

cherish you forever

whether near or far.

I promise to cook for you,

or at least, I’ll try.

Though the first few meals 

might make you cry.

I promise to pray for you

each and every day.

I’ll pray God guides you

to make clear our way.

When times are hard,

I’ll keep loving you still.

I promise to fight for you

when you can’t find the will.

I promise to listen

and seek to understand.

I promise to never

let go of your hand.

I promise to follow you

wherever you lead.

I trust God completely 

to meet our every need.

I promise to honor you

with my actions and speech.

Encouragement and support

are always in reach. 

I promise to make room 

even when I want space,

to put your needs first 

and remember to have grace. 

I promise to be faithful

for better or for worse.

I promise to remember 

to keep God first.

I promise to put you 

above anyone on Earth,

to never stop showing you

what this union is worth.

So now I give to you

this one last vow.

My love is eternal,

and forever starts now.

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