I met someone online recently. Well, we didn’t exactly meet, but we FaceTimed for hours. This man was too good to be true, everything I thought I was looking for.
The day after our little phone date, I woke up early as usual and curled up in my prayer chair with my favorite blanket and a cup of coffee. I prayed a prayer I make a point to pray whenever I begin talking to someone new. “God if it’s not Your will, Your highest good, take it away.” He has yet to fail me in that prayer.
Later on at work, everything went wrong. My aide wasn’t there; equipment was malfunctioning; all my babies were irate. I didn’t have hardly a single moment of down time my entire day.
I checked my phone a few times and had gotten several messages from the guy about how he had enjoyed talking yesterday, asking if I wanted to talk again later, and he also said he wanted to take me on a date next week. I responded with approval and what I had deemed to be enthusiasm, although I didn’t have time to text as much as we had the day before because I was so busy. He was very attractive, and I really enjoyed our FaceTime date. Something seemed off, though, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He seemed a bit irritated by the time 5:00 rolled around although I had told him just how crazy my day was so he wouldn’t think I wasn’t interested. He asked me again if I wanted to talk later, and seeing as how I had already agreed earlier that we would talk when I got off work, and he knew I didn’t get off until 5:30, I found the need for reassurance a little odd.
At that point, I told him I was tired and honestly didn’t really feel like talking but to let me see how I felt when I left. I really was tired, and I just wasn’t in the mood to spend hours talking again that night, but I was willing to see how I felt a little later. Something inside of me knew I needed to say that to see how he would respond. Would he be supportive, or would he be offended? I had only been talking to him one day; his reaction would tell me everything about what I would be up against in the future. That’s when he hit me with “No need to anymore. I can see why you’re single.”
It was then that everything made sense—the pushiness, the bragging he had done on the phone, the need for validation, the need for reassurance—this man was struggling with a fear of rejection. Not only that, but he was abusive in the way he speaks, lashing out when he senses he’s been rejected (even when he isn’t). Yeah, that’s something I definitely don’t need, and I knew I had dodged a bullet.
The devil wanted to use the disappointment to drive me away from God, but instead, I am grateful for His protection. Sometimes God will take something bad and use it to protect us. If my day hadn’t been so bad, I wouldn’t have seen this guy’s true colors, not until later anyway. I would have wasted my time and energy getting to know him more and more, maybe even developing actual feelings for him when God never intended for that to happen. What’s worse, if I had met him in person, who knows, I could have put myself in actual danger. This is why I like to take time before meeting someone in person, time to see different sides of them. God used a chaotic and overwhelming “bad” day to show me that the man I had begun talking to was verbally abusive and insecure.
I learned a few things that day. God hears my prayers; He listens to me and cares deeply for me and my well being. He isn’t going to let just anyone have my heart. If something (or someone) seems too good to be true, it probably is. I learned something else, too: even the bad days, God is working out for my good.
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