My long term memory is quite vivid, and this is both a blessing and potentially a curse. As I’ve gotten older, I can fortunately say it’s much more a blessing. We all have the power to choose, to choose what we focus on and dwell on. I made the choice a long time ago to see the good, to remember the good.

When I remember a painful time, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The only thing that makes it bad is when I dwell on the bad. The truth is though, even the bad things serve a purpose in life. They shape us; they teach us; they grow us. It’s not what we remember that needs to change; it’s the lens we view it through, our perspective. When we see bad memories through the lens of wisdom, it’s not such a bad memory anymore, is it?

Recently I made a change, nothing extravagant, but I decided to change where I did my grocery shopping. I had a few negative experiences at the grocery store I had been going to, and I decided I was going to drive a little further to a different store. This store is in a town I used to drive through on a daily basis, quite a beautiful area.

Everything is different in this space; there’s less traffic, less noise; people smile at one another. I missed this drive without even realizing it. See, when I made this drive many years ago, I was a much different person. I associated this drive with rather bad memories.

The truth is, I needed to move on and make peace with my past. I needed to stop seeing it as good or bad, black or white. It was time I started looking at my past for what it was—a stepping stone that got me to where I am today. In a way, my past was a good thing despite my bad choices and bad experiences.

When I made my first trip home from my new shopping location, I noticed horses, white picket fences, beautiful trees surrounding a narrow road. I enjoyed my drive. As I drove, I began to remember the times I had driven through this town. I remembered how dark those times were, and I began to feel something I didn’t expect—joy. It brought me joy to remember those times because it made me appreciate who I am today. It gave me a greater sense of gratitude for where I am and how far God brought me.

I made a choice that day. No longer will I be a prisoner of my past; no longer will I be afraid of painful memories. I’ll choose to see my memories for what they are—the God-given gift to remember who I am and who He is.