Femininity is a gift that is rejected by a large number of women in today’s society. Femininity isn’t defined by our hobbies, our clothing, or our favorite color. Vulnerability, expressiveness, and deep emotional connections are just a few things that separate a feminine woman from the rest of the world. A woman can experience detachment from her God-given femininity for a number of reasons. For one, society tells the woman she needs to be more like a man—she should provide financially for herself and her family, she needs to become physically stronger, and she should suppress her emotions. She doesn’t need a man, she’s told. This was never God’s plan. There’s nothing wrong with staying in shape and getting an education. Learning to control your emotions and not be led by them is an important thing to master as well. But women are still women! It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to laugh. It’s ok to feel things very deeply and express that however you see fit while being respectful of those around you. And contrary to popular belief, being a stay at home mom and home maker is just as important, and in my opinion, even more important than any job there is!

Biblical femininity is not about how long your hair and eyelashes are or whether or not you love the color pink. It’s about your spirit. Let’s look now at what separates a biblically feminine woman from the rest of the world. 1 Peter 3:4 reads,

You should clothe yourselves with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God.

Not all women are “quiet” and that’s ok. Actually, it’s better than ok—it’s exactly how God wired you! Some women are extroverted, love to talk, and thrive on connecting with others. That’s a gift just like introversion, and one is not superior to the other. So what does it mean to have a gentle and quiet spirit? For starters, you’re slow to anger. You give people the space and grace to be who they are, where they are in their journey. You don’t chase anything or anyone. You are not prideful nor arrogant. You are teachable. You are not jealous; you don’t believe you are entitled to what anyone else has. You’re humble. You’re patient. You’re forgiving. You admit when you’re wrong. You’re kind to those who are unkind to you. You don’t quarrel or pick fights; you’re peaceful. You are submissive. Submissiveness is not to be confused with passivity. Passivity is defined as accepting what others do without active response or resistance. This is not the biblical concept of submission. A submissive wife finds a husband who’s authority she trusts and allows herself to be led. She is able to freely express herself and communicate her needs, and a Godly man will respect and cater to those needs and make the best decision for his household. Now, this is not to say submitting is easy. I’m a very opinionated and strong willed woman but will submit to my husband if it’s God’s plan for me to marry.

I pray that all the women out there will embrace their femininity a little more this upcoming year— be expressive, be gracious, be kind and humble, and of course, wear more pink!