We got a new baby at the center at work, and she is the cutest little thing. As I sat with her the other day, rocking her to sleep, I couldn’t help but wonder if this is how God sees His children—absolutely adorable.
There’s something about a sleeping baby that activates a part of us. Seeing this tiny being in a state of complete surrender, completely dependent on you—it awakens something in you that desires to nurture and protect, to love.
The more I continued to rock her, the more I could see her trying to fight sleep. She wanted so badly to stay awake and do the things that babies do. But I could see the sleepiness in her eyes; she needed to sleep or she was going to be cranky later.
Finally she gently closed her eyes and slowly but surely began to drift off to sleep. I silently wondered if I would ever get the chance to watch a child of my own fall asleep in my arms. It’s something I must surrender, though. Just like the sleeping baby inside my arms, I must surrender and let God guide me to my destiny—the destiny that He knows is my greatest good. Just like the sleeping baby, I too must let go.
So many nights I lay in bed fighting God, fighting the present moment just like a baby would fight sleep. I’d imagine what my life would be like with a husband, with children. That night as I lay in my bed, I prayed: God I give it all to you—all my desires, my wants, my needs. I want to be married. I want children. I want all of these things, but I want You more. I want what You have for me because I know that’s a thousand fold better than anything I could ever imagine for myself—even if that means no husband and no children. I imagine I was as adorable to God in that moment as I had ever been. In a state of complete surrender, I drifted peacefully to sleep in the arms of my Father.
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